Tag Archives: #LETTERS

The “final” note!

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It wasn’t the end but only the beginning.

Her fears wrote a letter to her happiness in “final note” form and it went like:

“I want to go bungee jumping without ropes just to see how long it will take for me to reach the ground…

…or maybe cut myself real deep, just to see the amount of blood I have in me.

Might even stab my heart, I really want to see how deep the knife can go.

I want to go skydiving with no skydiving gear, I want to see how many seconds it takes for one to finally kiss the ground.

I’d overdose and start counting sheep but I’m afraid I might count to infinity and back.

Don’t tell me about pain because I believe there is no greater pain in the world than the pain I’m feeling now.

I need to escape, I need to be freed off this excruciating pain I’m feeling. I need to break free and finally taste eternal rest.

Death and fear don’t scare me no more. I’ve been afraid for too damn long and my courage says I should jump off the highest building just to really feel for the very last time.

…and I promise I’ll be smiling when I slowly burn out, I’ll make sure only my beauty is remembered.

I’m ready.”

…but now her world hadn’t been informed of such an implication. When the content had slipped off the fingers of her social networks,  they thought it was a suicidal note.

A final letter of demand from the troubled soul lurking within the ever-glowing contours of her imperfected silhouette.

Her world was wounded and scared by fears of the unknown whereabouts of her truths.

All that wasn’t really  necessary because what the world didn’t know is that it was only the end of her fears and troubles, and the beginning of success and eternal happiness.

This is a break-up…

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I want you to find your wings again and fly away to find love once again.

I want you to learn to love more out there and less in here.
…because very soon I’m gonna leave you for good and the love I have for you wishes it could hurt less.

I’d love for you to get over me before the hate I have for myself forces you to forget me.

I want you to walk away while I’m still smiling and strive to always remember me like that.

I have shortened my bucket list and the only deed on it, is to love you and only you until the end.

I’m really sorry for the pain I’m about to bring to you but like everything else in the world pain also fades away.

Soon, all this will be nothing but memories and I just hope that one day when the tunnel of pain I’ve brought to you comes to an end your light shall come in eternal happiness form.

Dead on the inside and bearly holding-on, on the outside.
I’m done.

This is a break-up because I’m about to break-down.

I think I’m in love…

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You know what they say about searching?!

You don’t always find what you’re looking for.

…but then a while ago I went looking for Mr Right and came back with a broken heart and decided to call my search off.

…and only when I stopped searching,  Mr Right came and became my “Prince charming” I his “damsel in distress”.
He came looking, he found me and chose to rescue me.

See… my turn of believing in fairytales is now here and mine Moozie has chosen to became my fairy with a tale and teach me how to love.

Lord. I’ve never loved like this and with no doubt I’ve chosen to make ‘dangerous’ my favourite activity and went busking with my vulture.

Within minutes I’ve given him all the keys to my kraal, gave him all the trust and named him the protector of my virgin heart.
Risky? I know!

With my paint brush in hand I’m ready to write our tale. In all our favourite colours I’m ready to paint it loud enough for people to hear that,  not only am I yours but forever I’m yours to keep.

See… in him I’ve found a GOLDMINE and golddigging is no longer my favourite activity because now treasure has found a home in my kraal.

…and all my heart’s desires have  become activities of keeping a smile on his face and my tongue’s desires are letters of his name.

Man, I’ve found myself a man and in him I got lessons of loving carefully and carelessly at the same damn time.

I’ve fallen deeply in love and if this is how LOVE feels like, I don’t ever want to find myself on my feet again.

Letter to the heartless.

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Dear Stranger,

You have managed to make her an engineer of bridges and she has managed to build a bridge between heartache and heartbreak to help get over her heart’s break.
Oh… Yes. Her heart has taken a break, it was never her choice but she has learnt to accept, deal and live with it and it’s all thanks to you dear Stranger.

I’m writing this letter to help you see and understand her situation because when you had your turn with her she had to over stand your brutal situations.

Since you’ve built her a castle of “make believes”, sold her dreams and made her believe that she was the one for you as much as she knew that you’re the one for her. It still saddens me how blind you’ve managed to make her.

Using gifts and promises as a blindfold. Hiding away the truth and having her seek it every lie you’ve told.

You became the king of your castle and her the slave enslaving herself to keeping you happy. In hopes that you’ll stay in her life forever and you chose to toy with her kindness.

…but now I hope you find yourself a heartless somebody who’ll break yours into a million unrepairable pieces.
Forcing you to fall in line with them and be of the heartless.

A million love letters and I’m still on my own.

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So… I sat down. Writing it over and over on a piece of paper and using capital letters in hopes that it sinks in and actually make sense.

“A MILLION LOVE LETTERS AND I’M STILL ON MY OWN!” were my exact words.

Coming to think of it. It’s an emptied bold statement that sums up my love life in simple text. A very ironic situation if you ask me and I’ve found a way to live with it.

Sometimes I even doubt that love exists. I mean even great men who’ve written about it have failed to explain what it is.
Even I who counts herself amongst the great has failed to understand it and my definitions keep contradicting themselves.

So I chose to ignore. Exclude myself from the culture of falling in love and wanting to be part of those who feel the need to belong.
…and don’t get me wrong y’all.

This isn’t because I chose to but because I have to. I mean even if love was to smack me right in between my eyes I could never notice it because for years love has knocked and I’ve failed to answer.

Some say it’s fear, some say it’s preference and I always say that it’s time and the universe working against each other and causing unpleasant frequencies encouraging me to shy away from what’s known to be “good enough” for me.

So all those love letters a.k.a proposals have been flooding in and I’m still on my own because I’ve decided to turn a blind eye and ignore.