Call it a falling in love…
…because I traded my “thinking with my heart and loving with my mind” idea with a “thinking with my mind and loving with my heart” mentality.
I let go of all my fears and embraced my wishes. I ditched keeping an eye out and became a “Sleeping Beauty”, I allowed my mind the privilege of resting.
I think I fell in love.
I think I’ve always wanted my life to be perfect and my fear of getting hurt turned me into a knight, always on my toes and too cautious to even let my guard down.
No guy could have ever attempted to try me out, I mean no guy wants to feel like an enemy in their own relationship.
So it wasn’t until I decided to swap my protective armour and steel boots for a dress and a pair of heels that I finally found my Mr Right.
My Prince Charming.
Not only did he rescue a damsel in distress but he also swept me right under my feet and had love knocking me down.
I mean no one can ever raise me to the same height as he has, no one could have me close me eyes and have me feel the world move around me.
…or hold my hand and have waterfalls flow right through my spine. No one could smile at me and have me naming stars theirs.
He came into my life and had me believing that the moon was made from cheese, that with every “I love you” we say to each other the universe gives birth to a new star.
I know I fell in love.
With an incredible human being, a work of art. I think the word perfect never existed until he was born. With a smile that melts my heart and sends the juices to the moon and back, eyes that send chills down the spine of my soul making my spirits’ knees weak and a personality that sends electrical sparks that confuse the loving sh*t out of my brains?
I fell in love with amazing person.
God’s master piece.
Call it falling in love because I tripped, fell hard and became the happiest person alive.
Don’t you dare tell me that you love me now, because I kind of feel like it doesn’t really matter now.
See…when I longed for your love it was nowhere to be found.
You chose to play a game of “hide and seek”. You hid your heart and made my poor soul seek it.
I’m tired of seeking your “faded out” love and I swear once I turn my back on the idea of ever finding it, the only way forward is teaching myself how to forget about ever being in love with you and learning how to fall in love with a deserving heart.
I’m sick and tired of the long scruffy journey I’ve walked in search of your hidden heart.
I’ve nursed myself way too much and I’m about to become iskhorokhoro.
With all the bruises I got from thorns of your cold heart,
Scars I got from dried out branches of your heartlessness,
Scratches I got from your “bob-draaded” selfishness,
…and wounds I got from stepping on pieces of your shattered-broken mirrored hate.
I’m done, ngiyas’thula les’gqoko. I will not allow you to do as you please with my feelings.
Game’s up, you better find your heart because my soul’s seeking days are over.
I’ve always wanted to be the best daughter ever. Trying so hard to correct the mistakes of those who came before me.
…but now I’ve failed. I decided to put my happiness first and in the process I’m about to bring sadness to people who once decided to take a leap of Faith and put their trust in me.
In their eyes I’m a daughter, an angel but to the truth and myself. I’m a monster and I believe I was created for nothing else but to self destruct.
I’ve reached my peak and I’m about to self destruct.
I’m about to chop myself into a million pieces just to remind myself what real pain feels like.
I’m about to shut down the entire system of my existence and call it “Operation Deuses”.
I said: “Hey, look at me and get a boner.
See my smile and feel your heart melt. I’m not just a girl but thee girl.”
…and he thought I was insane.
So… I said: “Look, you can easily hear my voice and wet your pants.
Look into my eyes and feel your knees get weak.
I’m not one of a million but one in a million, I know.”
…and he thought I was lying.
Then I had to say: “See… I could walk your way and have your heart jumping up and down…
…or simply touch you and have you thinking in tongues.
I’m not a typical human being but one you’d love to have in your life. ”
…and he thought it was my craziness speaking.
I then said: “Well, I could easily say your name and have the world move around you…
…or maybe blow you a kiss and have you build your world around me.
…because not only have I become your crush but in me you’ve found the girl of your dreams. ”
…and at the this point I had won his heart just to turn him down and remind him that I’m a taken woman.
You know what they say about searching?!
You don’t always find what you’re looking for.
…but then a while ago I went looking for Mr Right and came back with a broken heart and decided to call my search off.
…and only when I stopped searching, Mr Right came and became my “Prince charming” I his “damsel in distress”.
He came looking, he found me and chose to rescue me.
See… my turn of believing in fairytales is now here and mine Moozie has chosen to became my fairy with a tale and teach me how to love.
Lord. I’ve never loved like this and with no doubt I’ve chosen to make ‘dangerous’ my favourite activity and went busking with my vulture.
Within minutes I’ve given him all the keys to my kraal, gave him all the trust and named him the protector of my virgin heart.
Risky? I know!
With my paint brush in hand I’m ready to write our tale. In all our favourite colours I’m ready to paint it loud enough for people to hear that, not only am I yours but forever I’m yours to keep.
See… in him I’ve found a GOLDMINE and golddigging is no longer my favourite activity because now treasure has found a home in my kraal.
…and all my heart’s desires have become activities of keeping a smile on his face and my tongue’s desires are letters of his name.
Man, I’ve found myself a man and in him I got lessons of loving carefully and carelessly at the same damn time.
I’ve fallen deeply in love and if this is how LOVE feels like, I don’t ever want to find myself on my feet again.
I said: “Hi, my name is Minnie and I’d love to know about you.”
Let me explain it to you.
When I first saw him, my life’s situation became a coleslaw salad in the middle of a “7 coloured” Sunday dish back in Ghettos -a complicated once in a while experience-.
Mixed emotions, confused feelings and disfigured actions became a part of my life.
I started planning.
Burning my own rules without regret and constantly fearing the outcomes.
His presence took over baba, and life became a fairytale (a dream come true).
He filled my heart with joy. My thoughts were invaded by his presence and all my tongue’s desires became the letters of his name.
I found myself uttering his name out of the blue.
My actions were the dictionary.
Defining the feelings of confused ‘love struck’ beings.
Him and I defined what love was (in my world of course).
I saw the sight that portrait (him) and I was blessed.
So I was wondering if he could kindly let me know about him.