Tag Archives: #BlaQed

Painfully pained

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I don’t want your sympathy, I mean it never really takes the pain away.

Don’t tell me that “everything will be ok”, because it never will be and I bet it won’t even get better.

Don’t give me your hanky, I know for a fact that it won’t help stop the tears from falling out of the bags of my eyes.

I would have gladly accepted your hug, but now I really find it useless. I don’t think it will make my heart feel any lighter or even fill the big hole that was left in it.

My soul has soaked in pain so much that my whole being is-literally of pain.

So don’t you dare tell me ukuthi “ngikhala nawe”, man I’ve lived with this pain almost all my life and trust me when I say I can feel it by myself, so I don’t need your help.
Don’t bother.

My sins have decided to play “catch-up” and catch up with me, my demons are eating at my soul, karma has decided to make like a fly and be my guest -an uninvited guest…
…and all the skeletons in my closest have decided to come out and play.

I’m in pain and this pain is internal, it is within the soul and in a way spiritual.

I doubt I’ll ever escape it.

Mxm, man you’re insecure.

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My anger thoughts on repeat. In my head, bitter thoughts are like a song with no instruments. Its words are so sharp and they just keep banging in my head.

I had never dreamt of hurting you, I mean I can never bring myself to the point of doing you wrong.

…but that doesn’t really matter to you. I mean in your eyes I’m a thief, a happiness-thief.
I make people build their worlds around me just to knock them down.

Have them believe in the good to blinden them from seeing my badness.

You thought I never saw it coming? Well, I did.

I saw it all… when all that I said didn’t really matter that much to you.
When all my efforts were in vain and all you thought about was not falling victim to my ways of cruelty?!
I saw it all.

See… the day you choose to open your eyes and see all the beauty my actions possessed,  I’d be long gone.

…because now you foolish ways of playing FBI with my happiness and peace are eating at my patience and persistence.

On day will be our day and when our day comes, I’ll throw the towel, take a  bucket and rope, find a tree and put an end to our happiness.

Lay it to rest, because we have both taken advantage of it.

Modern love letter…

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What would you say if I came to you and asked you to consider staying in my life forever?!
Would you be interested?

What if I chose to be yours for life, promised to love you forever and swore to never dream beyond our castle?!
Would that be ok?

You taught me how to fly when I didn’t even believe in wings.

You made me realize how easy it is to stand up tall when I didn’t even think getting up was possible.

You make me believe that catching dreams with a butterfly net isn’t insane but simply fashionable.

You’re that part of me I missed all my life but I never knew I ever had.
A series of strings that has managed to keep me together.

Sthandwa sami you’re my joy, my pride and my strength.
Without you I’m a tree without brunches on which the world can’t feed.

So would you please show interest in staying in my life forever?
I mean simply allow me to name myself “YOURS” and promise to never imagine me out of your world.

Simply because, ngiyak’thanda wena Jobe wami.
Mondisa wesizwe!

For a change he wanted to read about me.

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He has recently laid eyes on my not-so-cooked blog and decided to scratch his way into knowing more than just a bit about me.

…but then the blog is just a scribble and not entirely about me, so he got nothing.

So he decided to go about the humanely manner of doing such and simply ask about me.

…and he asked a few questions and I’m willing to answer all of them so here goes.

If I was left with one wish in my whole life, I’d actually wish to be granted the opportunity of seeing how my future is going to turn out just to make better choices and change a few things about it.

If I had to spend the last two hours before I have a celebration of my biggest success with people, I’d actually spend it with people who didn’t help me get there. Give them a taste of having me around because they would definitely not be included in my future.

Who am I? Where do I come from with life and where have I been?  What makes me strong, happy and alive?

Well that’s easy… I’m Duduzile Hope Thembilihle Thabethe-Thabede, I’m a person who doesn’t believe in a lot of things but everything I can feel.
I value myself more than anything in the world.
I am still on a journey to finding myself and my purpose in life.

I don’t believe in dreams, but I do believe in making dreams come true.

I can’t say I’ve been anywhere with life because I’ve recently started living but every experience I’ve had in life I’ve treasured for it has made me the person I am today.

What makes me happy is knowing that I’ve managed to a smile on someone’s face and that I continue to make those who root for me proud.
What makes me happy is knowing that I mean the world to someone and I shall always be appreciated and remembered for my efforts.

What makes me strong is enjoying every single moment in life, learning from each and every experience, regretting nothing,  never allowing myself to dwell on the past and always forcing myself to move on.

I only live once,  so waking up a new person every morning is essential.

BlaQed tailored HAPPINESS!

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I always expect them to understand… Understand that BlaQed is an ass, her road ends here and she may never change.

I always want them to feel the need to coil up to my frustration.
Coil up to my needs and enslave themselves to making me happy.

“Hang your soul up in the sun to dry out because in my matriarchal dungeon, your soul is prohibited.” (My thoughts!)

So…they should crack and break their spines, letting their spineless bodies drop dead before me. Forcing them to lie on their tummies becoming my bridge and allowing me to cross over…

…crossing over to the other side because now all the souls on this side were left out in sun on the souling line to dry out and have now been biltonged.
“Bloody useless to this useful of fools who chose to break their spines. Leaving themselves spineless just to earn their right to enslaving themselves to me.”

I always expect them to understand…

…understand that BlaQed needs slaves who’ll imprison themselves in her matriarchal dungeon and await their turn to coil up to her needs and pledge to keep her happy…

…because happiness is all she’ll ever want. The rest is a bonus! 🙂