Category Archives: Dedications

Call it falling in love, because I did

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​Call it a falling in love…

…because I traded my “thinking with my heart and loving with my mind” idea with a “thinking with my mind and loving with my heart” mentality.
 I let go of all my fears and embraced my wishes. I ditched keeping an eye out and became a “Sleeping Beauty”, I allowed my mind the privilege of resting.

I think I fell in love.

I think I’ve always wanted my life to be perfect and my fear of getting hurt turned me into a knight, always on my toes and too cautious to even let my guard down.
No guy could have ever attempted to try me out, I mean no guy wants to feel like an enemy in their own relationship.

So it wasn’t until I decided to swap my protective armour and steel boots for a dress and a pair of heels that I finally found my Mr Right. 
My Prince Charming. 

Not only did he rescue a damsel in distress but he also swept me right under my feet and had love knocking me down.
I mean no one can ever raise me to the same height as he has, no one could have me close me eyes and have me feel the world move around me.
…or hold my hand and have waterfalls flow right through my spine. No one could smile at me and have me naming stars theirs. 

He came into my life and had me believing that the moon was made from cheese, that with every “I love you” we say to each other the universe gives birth to a new star.

I know I fell in love.

With an incredible human being, a work of art. I think the word perfect never existed until he was born. With a smile that melts my heart and sends the juices to the moon and back, eyes that send chills down the spine of my soul making my spirits’ knees weak and a personality that sends electrical sparks that confuse the loving sh*t out of my brains?
I fell in love with amazing person.

God’s master piece.

Call it falling in love because I tripped, fell hard and became the happiest person alive.

 

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Not yet over…

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My imagination said: “Recently I’ve found myself crawling through the days of our lives,
Trying to reach a point where I actually love you and it hopelessly feels like a journey with no end.

It’s happening again, our
ASTHMATIC RELATIONSHIP has reached its ‘End By Date’.

At this point you have earned your spot to fall in line with your kind and name yourself a ‘Once Upon A Time’.

One of the temporary beings in my life.
A has been.”

…but my stubborn heart is holding on to yours, my body is renovating the feel of your touch on my skin and my mind is rewriting memories of you and they just seem so alive and simply current.

Reality keeps striking me and I have to let go but my being won’t give up just yet.

…I thought I didn’t understand why this was happening but today I learnt and understood where it all comes from.

I still love you and I’ve given all of me to you but fear keeps playing mind games and doubt is busy telling me that love never really existed.

Today I learnt that Cupid wasn’t stupid when he shot us with the same arrow.
See…when Zeus separated us and Cupid’s arrow helped us find each other?!

The heavens smiled because they simply knew that we were meant for one another and that we’ll always be together.

Goddess the creator

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If only the universe had granted me powers of creation and named me Goddess the creator, I’d build the man of my fantasies.

In the image of “isthandwa sami” I’d create him.

With toffe-nut ice cream lips I’d create him.

I’d give him a lavender infested smile to fill the room with a motherly aroma every time he lays his eyes on me.

His eyes would be of pearls to make me fall deeper in love every time I stare into them.

His voice would be as relaxing as classical sounds. Matured mentals of your Beethovens and Mozarts.
Musical prowess!

If I had godly powers I’d create that man.

With skin made of chocolate-coloured cotton candy, good enough for me die for.

His heart would be of Gold and I a greedy miner.
Digging day and night.

His touch would be of warm subtle water falls at the edge of diamante mountains.
Priceless if you ask me.

I’d create him to fill the sky with stars every time he walks and his body would be a portrait to thirst over.

If only I was a goddess of creation, I’d create this man with godly features, in the image of “isthanwa sami” and devote myself to loving him as I love thyself.

The “final” note!

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It wasn’t the end but only the beginning.

Her fears wrote a letter to her happiness in “final note” form and it went like:

“I want to go bungee jumping without ropes just to see how long it will take for me to reach the ground…

…or maybe cut myself real deep, just to see the amount of blood I have in me.

Might even stab my heart, I really want to see how deep the knife can go.

I want to go skydiving with no skydiving gear, I want to see how many seconds it takes for one to finally kiss the ground.

I’d overdose and start counting sheep but I’m afraid I might count to infinity and back.

Don’t tell me about pain because I believe there is no greater pain in the world than the pain I’m feeling now.

I need to escape, I need to be freed off this excruciating pain I’m feeling. I need to break free and finally taste eternal rest.

Death and fear don’t scare me no more. I’ve been afraid for too damn long and my courage says I should jump off the highest building just to really feel for the very last time.

…and I promise I’ll be smiling when I slowly burn out, I’ll make sure only my beauty is remembered.

I’m ready.”

…but now her world hadn’t been informed of such an implication. When the content had slipped off the fingers of her social networks,  they thought it was a suicidal note.

A final letter of demand from the troubled soul lurking within the ever-glowing contours of her imperfected silhouette.

Her world was wounded and scared by fears of the unknown whereabouts of her truths.

All that wasn’t really  necessary because what the world didn’t know is that it was only the end of her fears and troubles, and the beginning of success and eternal happiness.

An asthmatic relationship

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It was another “short-breathed” relationship,
Or should I say an asthmatic relationship?

A relationship that was never really tailored for much excitement and an excessive expression of emotional experiences really.

It was a boring relationship.

A relationship of perfectionism and planning.
“Routines and traditions” is what their activities were inspired by.

They became blinded by their mentals of may, might and maybe.
…and now their blindness had allowed them to fall victim to fear and allow their fear of something going wrong feast heavily on their hunger to explore  and somehow ‘live a little’.

The lifespan of their chronic relationship was unknown. It was somewhat critical, I mean it could get attacked at anytime and die out.

Its tomorrow wasn’t promised, so was its next time, so their dreams only existed in the moment…
…and their hope was fuelled by a short vision of a future they didn’t  even believe in.

Our relationship was naturally toxic and any form of spark would have been the death of us.

 

This is a break-up…

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I want you to find your wings again and fly away to find love once again.

I want you to learn to love more out there and less in here.
…because very soon I’m gonna leave you for good and the love I have for you wishes it could hurt less.

I’d love for you to get over me before the hate I have for myself forces you to forget me.

I want you to walk away while I’m still smiling and strive to always remember me like that.

I have shortened my bucket list and the only deed on it, is to love you and only you until the end.

I’m really sorry for the pain I’m about to bring to you but like everything else in the world pain also fades away.

Soon, all this will be nothing but memories and I just hope that one day when the tunnel of pain I’ve brought to you comes to an end your light shall come in eternal happiness form.

Dead on the inside and bearly holding-on, on the outside.
I’m done.

This is a break-up because I’m about to break-down.

Mxm, man you’re insecure.

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My anger thoughts on repeat. In my head, bitter thoughts are like a song with no instruments. Its words are so sharp and they just keep banging in my head.

I had never dreamt of hurting you, I mean I can never bring myself to the point of doing you wrong.

…but that doesn’t really matter to you. I mean in your eyes I’m a thief, a happiness-thief.
I make people build their worlds around me just to knock them down.

Have them believe in the good to blinden them from seeing my badness.

You thought I never saw it coming? Well, I did.

I saw it all… when all that I said didn’t really matter that much to you.
When all my efforts were in vain and all you thought about was not falling victim to my ways of cruelty?!
I saw it all.

See… the day you choose to open your eyes and see all the beauty my actions possessed,  I’d be long gone.

…because now you foolish ways of playing FBI with my happiness and peace are eating at my patience and persistence.

On day will be our day and when our day comes, I’ll throw the towel, take a  bucket and rope, find a tree and put an end to our happiness.

Lay it to rest, because we have both taken advantage of it.

Look…

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Look…
If only plagiarism didn’t exist, I’d take all his words and make them mine.
Rewrite everything his hand has ever scribbled upon my soul.

I’d take music and turn it into a modern love letter. Embedding my feelings in your mind and engraving my love on your heart.

If only plagiarism didn’t exist, I’d borrow myself his thoughts, bedazzl them with my ideas and bring you to your knees.

Have you feel the world move around you. Have you thinking that it’s you and I against the world.

If plagiarism didn’t exist, I’d study his words to make them mine. I’d scribble onto sticky-notes my ideas, confessing my love for you.

I’d turn feelings into thoughts, emotions into ideas and mentals into heartbeats.

…but now plagiarism exists and using people’s sweat is a recorded crime so I’ll just look at you and hope that my eyes say it all when my smile fails to convince you.

Um’shelo so tough.

Modern love letter…

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What would you say if I came to you and asked you to consider staying in my life forever?!
Would you be interested?

What if I chose to be yours for life, promised to love you forever and swore to never dream beyond our castle?!
Would that be ok?

You taught me how to fly when I didn’t even believe in wings.

You made me realize how easy it is to stand up tall when I didn’t even think getting up was possible.

You make me believe that catching dreams with a butterfly net isn’t insane but simply fashionable.

You’re that part of me I missed all my life but I never knew I ever had.
A series of strings that has managed to keep me together.

Sthandwa sami you’re my joy, my pride and my strength.
Without you I’m a tree without brunches on which the world can’t feed.

So would you please show interest in staying in my life forever?
I mean simply allow me to name myself “YOURS” and promise to never imagine me out of your world.

Simply because, ngiyak’thanda wena Jobe wami.
Mondisa wesizwe!

“I love my cup of coffee the way I love man…”

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“I love my cup of coffee the way I love man…”
This right here is a statement I’ve heard more than enough and I’ve always thought it was a bit of cliché.

You know how ladies always run out of conversation spines when they meet up for a cup of tea or maybe when they have what they love to call a “girls’ night out”?

They end up talking about “God-knows-what” and one of them will always find a way of worming in an unnecessary conversation by starting up with a very ridiculous statement.

…and to me “I love my cup of coffee the way I love my man…” has always been one of those and funny enough it is one of those no-brainers, because I mean women always find a way to say the first thing that comes to mind when these “let’s get to know each other better” moments come.

See… in most cases the answers/ideas are always diametrically opposed to what these ladies really are.
In simple text, women never really know what they’re into.

…but then again I fell in love and everything took a turn into the unknown and all my disbelieves turned into a series of believes.

I grew to understand how a man can actually be compared to a cup of coffee, I grew to understand how two different things could be so similar.
I myself learnt how to compare my man to a cup of coffee and have my friends understand my insane taste in men.

So…here goes: “I love my cup of coffee the way I love my man, hot, not too sweet but very strong with a few drops of milk to make it chocolaty and just know that I’m a coffee addict.”