My anger thoughts on repeat. In my head, bitter thoughts are like a song with no instruments. Its words are so sharp and they just keep banging in my head.
I had never dreamt of hurting you, I mean I can never bring myself to the point of doing you wrong.
…but that doesn’t really matter to you. I mean in your eyes I’m a thief, a happiness-thief.
I make people build their worlds around me just to knock them down.
Have them believe in the good to blinden them from seeing my badness.
You thought I never saw it coming? Well, I did.
I saw it all… when all that I said didn’t really matter that much to you.
When all my efforts were in vain and all you thought about was not falling victim to my ways of cruelty?!
I saw it all.
See… the day you choose to open your eyes and see all the beauty my actions possessed, I’d be long gone.
…because now you foolish ways of playing FBI with my happiness and peace are eating at my patience and persistence.
On day will be our day and when our day comes, I’ll throw the towel, take a bucket and rope, find a tree and put an end to our happiness.
Lay it to rest, because we have both taken advantage of it.
If only plagiarism didn’t exist, I’d take all his words and make them mine.
Rewrite everything his hand has ever scribbled upon my soul.
I’d take music and turn it into a modern love letter. Embedding my feelings in your mind and engraving my love on your heart.
If only plagiarism didn’t exist, I’d borrow myself his thoughts, bedazzl them with my ideas and bring you to your knees.
Have you feel the world move around you. Have you thinking that it’s you and I against the world.
If plagiarism didn’t exist, I’d study his words to make them mine. I’d scribble onto sticky-notes my ideas, confessing my love for you.
I’d turn feelings into thoughts, emotions into ideas and mentals into heartbeats.
…but now plagiarism exists and using people’s sweat is a recorded crime so I’ll just look at you and hope that my eyes say it all when my smile fails to convince you.
Um’shelo so tough.
I’m sitting here thinking to myself. If all these posts were a book I’d have to write and finish a new one before the year ends.
I mean all the posts my hand has written were the past and the present says all that was hurt, fear and sadness.
…and now all that seems so far away from my reach. It feels as if my heart will never taste the bitterness of all that negativity and maybe, just maybe I was too quick to write off happiness in my life.
As I sit right here. I remember all the tears I shed, the fear I experienced and the pain I’ve felt.
All I can do now is smile and thank God for the new experience, the new life where I’m proud enough to stand up and say “YES, I’VE TASTED THE SWEETNESS OF BEING IN LOVE AND I NOW KNOW THAT LOVE IS TAILORED FOR ME.”
I’m in love.