You have managed to make her an engineer of bridges and she has managed to build a bridge between heartache and heartbreak to help get over her heart’s break.
Oh… Yes. Her heart has taken a break, it was never her choice but she has learnt to accept, deal and live with it and it’s all thanks to you dear Stranger.
I’m writing this letter to help you see and understand her situation because when you had your turn with her she had to over stand your brutal situations.
Since you’ve built her a castle of “make believes”, sold her dreams and made her believe that she was the one for you as much as she knew that you’re the one for her. It still saddens me how blind you’ve managed to make her.
Using gifts and promises as a blindfold. Hiding away the truth and having her seek it every lie you’ve told.
You became the king of your castle and her the slave enslaving herself to keeping you happy. In hopes that you’ll stay in her life forever and you chose to toy with her kindness.
…but now I hope you find yourself a heartless somebody who’ll break yours into a million unrepairable pieces.
Forcing you to fall in line with them and be of the heartless.
His words: “I could never understand how you do it. Going around smiling like it doesn’t hurt, when you know very well that it kills you inside that I left.”
See… I knew at that very moment that those were his thoughts about me, so I simply smiled yet again.
Thinking to myself how naive he could be. I mean his disappearance could never stain my heart because my heart had never felt his presence. It really didn’t hurt me that he left, but I knew that my smiling actually killed him inside.
It was never my intention to hurt him or have him feeling irrelevant in any way, but my only intention was to brush if off, forget that he left
and move on with my life. At that point my happiness was the only thing that mattered to me and as I had pledged to myself that I’d never let anyone, let alone a guy have their filthy hands dug into my happiness because my happiness is self made.
So… I chose to smile and let him hang on his “she can never survive without me.” ego.
Making him feel and see that his role in my life was never that important.
I really don’t know if I’ve been a little too blind, too ignorant or simply too naive to even see what love is in my life or even to me.
…but then again I think my innocence had me looking for love only in the comfort of my own home and nowhere else and my pain embellished fear has forbidden me from taking off the blindfold that has helped turn a blind eye against love for so long because my heart was never really ready to get hurt and actually feel pain.
See…the closest I ever got to being “in love” was finding best friends and promising that I’ll never ever leave their sight.
Dedicating my life to keeping them happy and praying to God that I never do anything to encourage them to leave my sight because I simply know that without them in my life I’ll never survive.
…and the closest I ever got to learning about what love is, was from reading tons of novels on love. Hopeless, I know!
But then you see…my fear of falling in love and actually being loved has saved me about a million times from heartbreak.
Meeting and falling for all these appetizing personas and praying to God that it’s only just a dream and I’d wake up from it or simply accepting that I’m only human and all that is only tailored to happen and that the only way to deal with the situation is to snap out and realize that love is not for me.
I wish I could wish for a fairy tale but then in my dreams our tale is one with no end and I’d love to keep it that way.
For now all I can pray for is finding a real man in you. A real man who’ll stand against all odds, ignore what the world has to say and strive to keep a smile on my “potholed” face.
A man who’ll allow me to take my time when it comes to learning how to love him like I should.
In you? In you I want to find a man who’ll send me flowers and handwritten notes, reminding me of the love he’ll always have for me.
In you I want to find a man who’ll turn me into a hopeful romantic, reminding me of the love I’ll never lose for him.
So what do I do? Come on tell me, what do I do? Do I wait for you to notice that I’ve been waiting for you to rescue me from this SINGLE life and call me your own?
Do I let you know that you’re that one guy, the only one I’ll ever want?
‘Coz boy you are that GOLDEN MAN OF MINE, MY FAIRY WITHOUT A TALE.